WASHINGTON, DC— Luke Farritor—formerly known as lukethecoder64, currently known as “Sir This Is A Federal Agency”—has reportedly completed the rare Silicon Prairie 100% Achievement Run: decode ancient scrolls, meet your Twitter heroes, join a government cost-cutting dojo named after a joke cryptocurrency, and accidentally wedge yourself into 23 lawsuits before your renter’s insurance kicks in.
Sources confirm the 23-year-old once serenaded museums with 59 robot guitars, then pivoted to serenading federal databases with Python scripts, proving the natural career ladder is: bell ringer → guitar cloud architect → scroll whisperer → vice-presidential briefer → guy jiggling CFPB doorknobs like he’s looking for a bathroom key at a Casey’s.
“Making is a better way of thinking,” said Farritor’s father, a robotics professor whose surgical gizmo literally went to space, which in Nebraska is the traditional preamble to “and now my son is dismantling the Department of Education because a group chat said vibes.”
At press time, locals in Lincoln remained split: half calling him a patriot, half calling him a traitor, and a small third half proposing he be named Secretary of Interior Decorating for arranging mattresses on the 6th floor of GSA like a post-apocalyptic WeWork.
Timeline Of Events That Feel Like A Mad Libs Speedball
- 2015–2023: Luke learns to code, makes 59 guitars play Philip Glass by Wi-Fi, interns at SpaceX, spots a fuel leak, and helps teach the world that sometimes porphyras means “purple” and sometimes it means “I am about to be invited to a Roman dinner where people say ‘garum’ without irony.”
- 2024: Wins the Vesuvius Challenge Grand Prize, meets Nat Friedman, discovers the Silicon Valley ritual where older men tell you “Kid, see the world,” which is Latin for “there’s a couch in Palo Alto with your name on it.”
- Late 2024–Early 2025: DOGE slides into the DMs of governance: “We need super high-IQ revolutionaries willing to work 80+ hours a week deleting line items with empathy-resistant keyboards.” Luke passes the vibe check (question 1: “Do you have vibes?”), enters the U.S. Digital Service through a ceiling vent labeled “Exceptions.”
- January: Elon tweets “CFPB RIP,” which is traditionally not how you file Form SF-86 but does get more engagement.
- February–May: DOGE tours agencies like a punk band with one song (“Defund The Spend”) and a merch table (“I Survived The Wood Chipper And All I Got Was This FOIA-Exempt Hoodie”).
- June: Mattresses stacked, ping-pong tables folded, “Authorized Access Only” signs come down, confirming DOGE’s governing philosophy: If Buddhism doesn’t need the Buddha, GSA doesn’t need the beanbags.
Quotes From People Who Definitely Exist
- Luke, age 15: “Art is magical.”
Luke, age 22: “Regulations should be bulletproof or abolished.”
Luke, age 23: “Oh my goodness,” upon discovering both purple ink and the Delete key on a grant console. - A former official: “The USDS usually requires experience. But to be fair, has a Stanford freshman ever decoded a 2,000-year-old grocery list? Checkmate, HR.”
- A DOGE colleague: “We ran ‘Defend the Spend’ on a Raspberry Pi we found in Luke’s dorm-themed briefcase; it auto-denies anything containing the words gender, climate, or staples.”
- A museum guitar: twang (translated: “We sensed a disturbance in the force when a mandolin got reassigned to ‘OMB Connect.’”)
Frequently Asked Questions That No One Asked
Q: How did a homeschooled Nebraskan go from bell ringing to budget ringing?
A: He solved the ancient problem of “What is purple?” and applied that to the modern problem of “What if everything wasn’t?”
Q: Is DOGE a department or a vibes-based lifestyle brand?
A: Yes.
Q: Isn’t government complicated?
A: Not if you replace complexity with grit, grindset, and a Signal chat named “Wood Chipper Afterparty.”
Q: What’s the ethical framework here?
A: René Girard, Jordan Peterson, and a YouTube thumbnail that says “WE’VE BEEN DOING BUREAUCRACY WRONG (SHOCKING).”
Q: Did he really brief the Vice President?
A: He was in a room where a briefing happened. We classify that as Schrödinger’s Brief.
Experts We Made Up Provide Context
Anthropologists call it “The Great Valley Gambit,” where young men attempt to speedrun prestige: decode antiquity for clout, monetize clout into network, convert network into badge access, convert badge access into a spiritual belief that empathy is a buffer overflow exploit.
Political scientists note that DOGE was named after a meme coin for legal reasons: you can’t subpoena a Shiba Inu.
Museum professionals add that Luke is the first person in history to go from “virtually unwrapping scrolls” to “virtually unwrapping HR systems” without changing his laptop stickers.
The Road Ahead
With Musk announcing that DOGE is now “Buddhism without Buddha,” insiders say the project enters its Zen phase, where documents cut themselves and grants decide to return to nature. Meanwhile, Luke has reportedly achieved GS-15 status, which in gamer terms is “Legendary Armor: Federal Hoodie (Defense +15, FOIA −20%).”
Back home, Nebraskans debate whether he’s a hero, a cautionary tale, or the only man who can finally put an exit button on Grants.gov. In Lincoln, the guitars hang silent, waiting. If you listen closely, you can hear a faint melody: por-phy-ras… RIP… sync at 3?
At press time, Luke was seen staring at a mirror covered in dry-erase math, whispering, “There is no process. I just think about them nonstop,” moments before tweeting nothing for the seventh consecutive month.