BOSTON — In a move described by analysts as “the most Google move possible,” marketing guru Neil Patel — now legally rebranded as Steal Patel™ — has announced a revolutionary approach to content marketing: stop creating ideas entirely and simply harvest everyone else’s.
At INBOUND 2025, Patel shocked attendees when asked how he promotes his businesses on Reddit. After replying “No comment” twice, Patel reportedly vanished in a puff of branded orange smoke, only to reappear minutes later holding a freshly stolen notebook from a first-time attendee labeled “My Campaign Ideas.”
“Look, originality is overrated,” Patel said, addressing a crowd of marketers scribbling furiously in their Moleskines. “Google rewards content that already exists. So if you really want to rank #1, just take the content that’s already ranking. That’s what we call the Google Way™.”
The Patel Playbook:
- Step 1: Ask audience what they are doing.
- Step 2: Repeat it on your blog with more emojis and an ‘Ultimate Guide’ headline.
- Step 3: Wait for Google to reward you for “thought leadership.”
Industry insiders say Patel’s new methodology is just a formal acknowledgment of what he’s been doing for years. “This isn’t stealing,” said one HubSpot rep who asked not to be named. “This is curated innovation. It’s like theft, but with backlinks.”
Meanwhile, Google has reportedly embraced Patel’s strategy, testing a new ranking factor called KleptoRank™, which boosts any content that was stolen from a smaller creator but now lives on a domain with higher authority. “It’s just algorithmic trickle-down economics,” a Google spokesperson shrugged.
Marketers React
Some marketers were outraged. “We came here to learn, not to have our ideas repo’d live on stage,” said attendee Meghan J., clutching her now-empty notebook. Others, however, applauded Patel’s transparency. “Finally, he’s saying the quiet part out loud,” said one agency owner. “Now I can openly steal from him stealing from me.”
Patel closed the session by announcing his next big keynote:
“The Future of Marketing: Why Your Best Ideas Should Already Be on My Website.”