In what critics are calling “Peloton but fascist”, director Francis Lawrence’s new film The Long Walk depicts a future where America combats laziness by forcing teens to literally walk until they die — and audiences are already raving that it’s “finally a movie that combines cardio with casual state-sanctioned murder.”
The film, based on Stephen King’s 1979 novel (back when he was still pretending to be “Richard Bachman” — the Clark Kent of horror fiction), follows 50 teens as they embark on a government-sponsored death march where the grand prize is not a trophy or a scholarship, but being the last one alive.
“It’s Hunger Games meets Forrest Gump if Forrest got three warnings before being shot,” said one early reviewer, who added that the movie is a perfect metaphor for living in 2025: keep grinding at 3 mph or get eliminated from society — sometimes literally.
Mark Hamill stars as The Major, a charismatic host whose job is to remind contestants that if they slow down, they will be executed — which many critics are calling “the most relatable villain of the year.”
Meanwhile, the young cast delivers heartfelt performances as they learn about life, death, and how to pee while walking in formation. “It’s kind of like Stand by Me, except instead of finding a dead body, you become one,” one viewer noted.
Cultural Impact
Already, influencers are racing to turn The Long Walk into the next TikTok challenge, with the hashtag #3MPHOrElse trending nationwide. Corporate sponsors are reportedly lining up for the sequel, tentatively titled The Long Walk 2: The Longest Stride, with Nike rumored to provide official death-march footwear.
Critics’ Consensus
Fans of dystopian cinema are praising the movie for its unflinching realism. “It’s the first streaming event where you can watch people die for entertainment and not feel bad,” one critic said, “because they signed the terms and conditions.”
Bottom Line: The Long Walk is the bleak, soul-crushing feel-good movie of the fall — perfect for anyone who thought The Hunger Games was “too cheerful” or who enjoys being reminded that winning in America simply means outlasting everyone else.