ELGIN, IL — In a move that biblical scholars are calling “deeply on-brand,” Psalm 77 has been formally adopted as the city charter of Elgin, Illinois.
Local officials say the Psalm perfectly captures the spirit of Elgin: crying out in anguish, refusing comfort, staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., and wondering if God has ghosted you. “It’s basically our tourism slogan,” said one alderman, polishing a plaque that now reads: ‘Elgin: Has God Forgotten to Be Gracious?’
Residents were quick to agree. “Last week I was up all night thinking about my property taxes and Aldi being out of frozen pierogies,” said lifelong Elginite Karen Peterson. “Verse 4 spoke to me. ‘You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled I cannot speak.’ Like, same.”
Not everyone is convinced. A local pastor expressed concern that branding Elgin as a city-wide lament might deter economic growth. But city marketers are leaning in hard. Billboards now feature a crying psalmist with the tagline: ‘Elgin — The Years of the Right Hand of the Most High, or Whatever.’
Meanwhile, city officials plan a new downtown festival called The Feast of Unanswered Prayers, complete with food trucks, silent disco lamentations, and a dunk tank where participants can “question God’s faithfulness” by trying to sink a giant inflatable dove.
When asked about the long-term vision, one city spokesperson shrugged:
“Honestly, we’re just resolving to remember God’s mighty deeds and hoping He remembers us too. Until then… welcome to Elgin.”