MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — In a groundbreaking move that experts are calling “totally new except for every part of it,” Google has unveiled AI Overviews, a revolutionary technology that takes the world’s content, strips out the names of the people who made it, and re-presents it as though it emerged directly from the warm, glowing brain of Google itself.
“We’ve spent billions training AI to essentially do what every 7th grader does when their book report is due tomorrow,” said a Google spokesperson while copy-pasting TechCrunch’s article about the announcement into ChatGPT. “We call it innovation.”
Critics note that AI Overviews looks suspiciously like a giant middle finger to the publishers, journalists, and bloggers whose work is now summarized by a robot that credits nobody. Publishers, meanwhile, are frantically Googling ‘How to monetize being eaten alive by Google’.
At press time, Google clarified that this is not plagiarism, but rather “generative search synergy.” Experts translated this to mean: “We stole it, but with vibes.”