INDIANAPOLIS—In what legal scholars are already calling “the world’s dumbest Spider-Man pointing meme,” Indiana bankruptcy attorney Mark S. Zuckerberg has filed a lawsuit against Meta Platforms for repeatedly banning him on Facebook for “impersonating Mark Zuckerberg.”
Despite practicing law under his real name for nearly four decades, Zuckerberg claims Meta’s algorithms have flagged him at least five times in eight years, insisting his very existence is “inauthentic.” Court documents allege that the company even accused him of being “a cheap knock-off of a billionaire tech bro,” before suspending his account and pocketing more than $11,000 in ad money.
“I showed them my driver’s license, my bar card, even my high school yearbook photo,” Zuckerberg said in a statement. “At one point I mailed in a lock of hair and a blood sample. Still, they told me, ‘Sorry, Mr. Zuckerberg, we only allow the Mark Zuckerberg here.’”
Meta, meanwhile, is reportedly preparing to counter-sue Zuckerberg for copyright infringement over his own name, claiming the letters M-A-R-K now legally belong to the company. CEO Mark Zuckerberg (the other one) declined comment but was overheard muttering, “There can only be one.”
Legal experts predict the case could lead to a landmark ruling: Zuckerberg v. Zuckerberg, in which the court will finally decide which Mark Zuckerberg is the real Mark Zuckerberg—or, more likely, just ban them both.
Would you like me to punch this up even more absurd—like escalating to a full multiverse of Mark Zuckerbergs fighting in small claims court?