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LUCID STOCK PLUNGES 49% AFTER INVESTORS LEARN COMPANY’S BUSINESS MODEL MAY REQUIRE SELLING CARS

NEWARK, CA — Shares of Lucid collapsed Tuesday after investors were stunned to discover that the electric-vehicle manufacturer may eventually need to generate more money than it incinerates.

The stock plunged more than 45% before trading was halted, giving shareholders a brief opportunity to sit quietly and remember what their savings used to look like.

The panic began after an EV newsletter reported that Lucid was considering bankruptcy, a strategic maneuver Wall Street analysts described as “taking the company private, except from everyone.”

Lucid reportedly ended the first quarter with $700 million, raised another $1 billion in April, and still has access to roughly $2 billion in loans—an impressive financial cushion expected to last until sometime Thursday afternoon.

Despite not being profitable, Lucid remains confident in its long-term plan to achieve positive free cash flow by 2029, shortly after flying cars, commercial fusion power, and the first profitable EV startup all become widely available.

The company is majority-owned by entities connected to the Saudi government, which has repeatedly injected capital into Lucid as part of its broader effort to diversify away from oil by setting enormous piles of money on fire electronically.

Lucid did not immediately respond to requests for comment, though sources confirmed several executives were seen frantically checking beneath the seats of a Gravity SUV for another billion dollars.

At press time, analysts upgraded Lucid from “Buy” to “Maybe Saudi Arabia Buys the Rest.”

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