Area man and self-declared “starch visionary” has reportedly changed the course of cuisine after microwaving soggy-ish fries alongside leftover pasta and realizing the result was not a mistake, but a beautiful swamp of carbohydrates.
“What the cowards call ‘wet fries,’ I call texture,” he said, standing over a steaming bowl of noodle-potato chaos that looked like it had been served during a prison riot in Budapest. “This isn’t leftovers. This is goulash that lost custody of itself.”
Witnesses say the fries initially appeared limp and defeated, but after 90 seconds in the microwave, they fused with the pasta into a single beige organism with the confidence of a dish that has no legal classification.
Nutritionists have advised against eating it. Historians have asked not to be involved. The microwave has since been placed on administrative leave.
At press time, the man was seen adding ranch, shredded cheese, and emotional instability, before whispering, “This is what Europe was afraid of.”