GURNEE, IL — In a fearless act of microbial defiance that’s already shaking the regional HR landscape, a newly hired employee at a mid-sized Gurnee business took an unrepentant post-lunch dump and did not wash his hands, even as another human being actively detonated in the stall beside him. Sources close to the hand soap […]
Month: December 2025
In a powerful display of collective apathy toward personal health and basic food safety, employees at MetroDyne Solutions devoured an unmarked bag of Corn Pops found in the lunch room Tuesday, despite having no information regarding its origin, age, or level of sentience. The cereal, discovered in a loose, Ziploc-style bag with visible condensation and […]
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