NEWARK, CA — Standing confidently in front of a chart that appeared to be actively falling off the screen, Vice President of Communications Nick Twork reassured shareholders Thursday that the company’s stock reaching its third all-time low this week was actually part of a “multi-day success streak.”
“Over the last 10 days, we’ve raised over $1 billion, expanded key partnerships, and hired a CEO,” Twork said, gesturing toward a line graph that had begun tunneling beneath the X-axis. “So naturally, the stock responded by continuing its courageous journey toward the Earth’s core.”
Shares of the luxury EV maker briefly hit $6.22 — or what insiders describe as “a nostalgic $0.62 in pre-split terms” — marking a 96% drop from its SPAC-era valuation, a time when the company was worth more than several functioning automakers combined and at least one medium-sized country.
Investors, many of whom entered at $150 per share (adjusted), praised the company’s commitment to consistency.
“It’s rare to see a company so dedicated to proving that raising capital and losing value can, in fact, happen simultaneously,” said one early PIPE investor, refreshing his brokerage app like it owed him money. “That kind of innovation is why we believed in them.”
The company also highlighted its strengthened relationship with Uber, which has committed to purchasing 35,000 vehicles — a number analysts note now exceeds the number of shareholders still emotionally invested.
Meanwhile, Lucid’s majority owner, Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, has now invested nearly five times the company’s current market value, a move experts describe as “the financial equivalent of continuing to Venmo your friend who insists he’s about to hit big.”
Twork acknowledged the disconnect between operational progress and the stock price, noting, “The share price will reflect that when we’ve earned it,” before reportedly whispering to colleagues, “Dear God, please let it reflect that.”
In an effort to maintain institutional investor interest, Lucid previously executed a 1-for-10 reverse stock split to keep shares above $5 — a threshold the stock is now approaching again with the quiet determination of a man returning to the scene of a crime.
Operationally, the company remains focused, having only recalled thousands of vehicles, missed delivery expectations, and reported billions in losses, all while preparing to launch a new SUV later this year — which executives confirmed will “definitely be the one that turns everything around this time for real.”
At press time, Lucid confirmed it is exploring additional ways to improve investor confidence, including possibly inventing a new number system where current valuations are considered “high.”