CUPERTINO, CA — In a bold stand for the safety of law enforcement and the sanctity of corporate obedience, Apple announced it has removed ICEBlock, an app that allowed users to track sightings of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers — a feature the company deemed “far too similar to Apple Maps’ traffic reports.” […]
Author: HC
NEW YORK—Pop megastar Taylor Swift dropped her 12th studio album, The Life of a Showgirl, this week, sparking immediate critical acclaim, fan hysteria, and at least three constitutional law think pieces. The record, reportedly inspired by her ongoing relationship with Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, has been described by insiders as “a cross […]
Recent tragic incidents have raised awareness about how Tesla’s electronic door handles can fail during a power loss, leaving passengers struggling to escape. While investigations continue, it’s important for drivers and passengers to know where the manual release mechanisms are located and how to use them. This knowledge could make the difference in an emergency. […]
In a shocking revelation to America’s underground “metals acquisition industry,” it turns out that the rash of charging station cable thefts may have been a little… overhyped. “Yeah, man, I thought I was pulling down at least $1,000 worth of copper per cord,” said one thief, visibly exhausted after lugging 14 severed charging cables to […]
ANAHEIM, CA — Local Tesla dealerships reported scenes of pure chaos last week as patriotic Americans trampled each other for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pay only $52,500 for a Model Y before the federal tax credit expired. Witnesses described the atmosphere as “Black Friday, but for rich people,” with one Orange County dad elbowing past […]
One of the biggest ongoing costs of owning any vehicle is keeping it fueled up and ready for the road. Electric vehicles (EVs) promise lower “fuel” costs since they don’t run on gasoline, but does that really translate to savings for Illinois drivers? The answer: it depends on what kind of EV you bought, how […]
The Prairie Grove Police Department usually has five officers serving its 2,000 residents. But come Friday, Sept. 19, that number will jump to around 50 — all hands on deck to help manage the estimated 20,000 people expected to flood the rural McHenry County town for Luke Bryan’s Farm Tour stop. “We were optimistic we […]
MENLO PARK, CA — Roblox confirmed today that it has permanently banned vigilante groups from its platform, citing their “disturbing” habit of dressing up as digital Batmen, impersonating minors, and luring alleged predators into sting operations that looked suspiciously like Dateline NBC reruns. “We appreciate that some players want to help,” said a Roblox spokesperson […]
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — In a bold new step to defend its sacred SERPs, Google announced today it is hiring an “Anti-Scraping Czar”, a position tasked with hunting down rogue keyword trackers, scrapers, and anyone who so much as glances too hard at page two of results. “Scrapers are the number-one threat to our business […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what economists are calling “Bring Your Authoritarian Dad to Work Day,” the Trump administration petitioned the Supreme Court Thursday to let the president personally escort Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook out of the Eccles Building with a box of her belongings. Trump, who has been aggressively trying to fire people from […]
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